Being a man means...
A mark of the current age is confusion. It is entirely possible that any given person you meet will reject, not just particular ideas, not just certain interpretations of reality, but the entire frame with which you view the world. Asking “what does it mean to be a man?” or “what does it mean to be American?” might very well be met with “there really is no such thing as a man, nor is there really such thing as an American, these are all just reifications of cultural norms and contingencies.” Those who agree that a given category exists, and exists in a way for the “what is” question to make sense, might radically disagree with the answer to the “what is?”
In part one of a Quick and Dirty Liberal Education, I offered a fairly lengthy analysis of how the ancients viewed masculinity, using Homer and Virgil as my guides. Here I want to do something much shorter, and give a quick answer that will be acceptable to my readers, in part because sometimes we need quick answers, and sometimes not much has to be said.
When thinking about iconic men, there are a few figures that, while quite different, are all definitely men. There is the warrior, the artist, the adventurer, the intellectual, the priest/monk, and the father/husband. With time you could come up with more, and these are only what first came to mind. J.R.R Tolkien sitting in his office, creating a world full of hobbits is not the same kind of figure as Ferdinand Magellan sailing on the high seas to tread untrodden, and dangerous lands, and Magellan is not the same kind of figure as Jack Dempsey, fighting the strongest men of his day, and coming up on top, yet all three are great examples of men. In all probability, Tolkien would not be able to pull of the voyage that Magellan did, and Magellan would not fare well in the ring, and Dempsey would not be capable of the artistic, or nautical feat of either Tolkien or Magellan. Each might, with enough determination, be able to learn each other’s skills, but learning the other’s skills would only be for some private interest. There is nothing taken away from Tolkien’s manhood because he was not a professional fighter, in the same way that nothing is taken away from Magellan for not being an artist, or Dempsey by not being an intellectual. Masculinity is a complex thing, and any answer to “what is a man?” must be robust enough to include the diverse ways that masculinity is expressed.
All anthropology, for the Christian, begins with Christology. Since Christ’s humanity is perfect, it is to Him that we must look to when asking how to be human. For men, we must look to Christ not only as a model for how to be human, but how to be men, as He is perfect man.1 Who is Jesus Christ? He is the Logos, the Word, of God in the flesh, both perfect God, and perfect Man. Being the Logos, Christ puts chaos into order. As the Word created the world, and establishing the order which still persists today in the form of the laws of physics (these are God’s laws, not ours), when He took flesh and dwelt among us, He put chaos into order. When reading the gospels, we hear of Christ making the blind see, the lame walk, the demon possessed become clean, sinners being forgiven, and lepers cured. In each of these cases we see Christ taking something chaotic, something that is not the way it is supposed to be, and putting it right. Eyes are supposed to see, and when they do not, there is something wrong. We are not supposed to be possessed by demons, or fall into sin, these are clearly chaotic events. What Christ does as Logos made flesh is put these things into order, and establishes the order that He intended from the beginning of the world.
If Christ is the perfect Man, who all men are to model themselves on, then we can say being a man means putting chaos into order. Tolkien ordered a fictious world, using his vast knowledge of Anglo-Saxon and Nordic history, along with his linguistic background; Magellan made the unexplored, the wild, explored, and navigable; and Dempsey formed his body, and reflexes, into a weapon akin to the warriors of old. This is why men traditionally are the ones who change the lightbulbs, discipline children, protect their homeland, and open doors for women. All these actions are instances of chaos being put into order, from the greatest scale (a hostile, and destructive force, being repelled) to the smallest scale (a closed pathway—a door—is being opened). More can be said, and has been said by both myself, and others, but this short answer is capable of encapsulating all aspects of masculinity, without diminishing any expression, over privileging one expression, and leaves room for elaboration.
Though fit for a different article, one that should probably be written by a woman, women look to the Theotokos, the Virgin Mary, in a similar way.